dream 'epic'...

when i was younger i use to make lists...

lists of how to spoil my family when i win the lottery, lists of what i'd require to create the perfect home, lists of how to improve my appearance...  i'd list guests to my dream wedding, i'd make lists of how to implement changes in stages and of course bucket lists - which meant something entirely different at 14 than it now does at 34.

i'd quite literally reinvent my life whilst making lists...

many years later, and i haven't made any lists since i left school.

the thing about a perfect list is this... you think up various scenarios, you prepare for all eventualities, you discover what you like, and what you don't but, most importantly, you get to dream really, really big.

some serious listing and super-sized dreaming coming up.  i plan to spend some time creating my "get happy" list.

lets see what comes up.

ta,

carlene

is this it?

i woke up one morning and realised, "i'm not happy anymore, this can't be it...".

i don't know when, or why it happened, it just did.  now after years of allowing depression to control me and how i respond, i have come to this one conclusion: "something needs to change!" - i need to change.

problem is i don't really know where to start, or whether this will work - i just know that i am not prepared to live this uninspired, unfulfilled life any longer.  i have lost Jesus and myself - i dont know where to find either.

i am my own fixer upper project, lets hope i come right.

i dont have all the answers - this is my journey - don't judge, don't try to repair me, just join me if you wish.

comments welcome.

ta,

carlene.